How Secrets Revealed Can Help Us Heal

This article focuses on the power in each of us to self-heal a broken spirit by tapping into tools that reside in our mind. The first step to achieving inner balance often begins with understanding the secrets held by our spirit – both deliberate and accidental.

We all have secrets – and each serves a purpose. Some inspire a sense of pride and joy; others: shame or guilt. The latter distract from inner peace and wellness. They keep us off balance – but only until such time as we reveal them to ourselves.

What keeps the distracting secrets hidden? That is the question of the century, and the way to expose this type of secret may be as simple as pulling a single thread to unravel an unnecessary hem. The thread, in this case, is fear - the insidious illusion of power that cloaks these secrets, attempting to prevent their discovery. To pull it requires great bravery; it is the path to healing.

Fear is mischievous. It uses shadows and secrets – both real and imagined, to camouflage itself. An example of how fear hides behind and manipulates shadows to distract from healing: have you ever seen a shadow that looms far larger and wider than the object itself? You intuitively know that shadows exist only where there is more of a glow behind something than in front of it. What happens once a greater source of light shines directly on, around and above the thing in front of us?

The shadow vanishes.

Same with inner secrets, fear, illusions and hiding truths from ourselves. In this case, ‘the object’ would be anything from our recent or distant past that we prefer not to think about – something we are not proud of. The ‘light’ would be insight, awareness, or faith – all of which shine from above, in front of, and directly on the object. In this light we see the object for what it is – thus, rendering powerless the pseudo-glow that created the illusion of a huge, looming shadow. The result: the shadow vanishes.

Delving a bit deeper, imagine the ‘secret’ is the pseudo-glow. The ‘object’ is whatever behavior, thought, or memory you have that you prefer not to look at. The pseudo-glow behind whatever it is you prefer not to examine, is fueled by time. That pseudo-glow intensifies and changes its angel over time so that the shadow appears to grow – though the object, in truth, does not. Our desire to recoil from the thought, idea or memory increases in determination as the shadow lengthens and widens. Over time we craft more clever ways to hide our eyes. Over time, avoidance becomes self-destructive – though the initial intention was to be self-protective. We believe our own secret lies.

The longer we recoil from viewing the true object – that is, the small thought, idea, or memory from our past, the more frightening the shadow becomes. We instinctively trust our eyes and believe the shadow represents the object of our terror – thus, the need for bravery to dare to challenge the shadow. Without bravery, the illusion is complete. Our eyes are glued shut by fear. What happened?

The origin of the shadow – fear, found its way into our imagination. No longer lurking within the shadow, fear continues to morph into many destructive forces to craft and cloak the distracting secrets which then exist within and torture us. Fear morphs into denial, as if to protect us from the original thoughts, ideas or memories – convincing us they are so horrendous, we would be destroyed by viewing them; negative self-talk such as, “this path of healing is too difficult, and all advice leading to it a waste of time”; the glue that keeps our eyes shut. In effect, we continue to frighten ourselves.

These are a few of the many ways in which fear poisons the spirit.

Is there is a way to dissolve this irrational fear? Yes. The first step is to manufacture “courage” which can be used to turn on and self-direct a brighter light, in order to view the behavior, thought, or memory through the lens of perspective. Courage inspires self-reflection and soul searching. How can we manufacture courage?

We begin by making a list of everything we’ve ever said or done that made us feel proud and/or joyful. This is as simple as writing down a random act of kindness we performed weeks ago, or diploma we earned years ago. Please add to your list the joy felt when you watered a seed until a plant emerged, or observed a flower unfold – as these ALL belong on your list. Each time you embrace and nourish a feeling of inner peace on any level, you manufacture courage. Pull up a short video to watch a baby chick peck its way out of its shell, or a butterfly emerge from a chrysalis. The feeling of joy you experience channels positive energy to the universe. For that, you deserve to be praised. Every moment you feel joy at a miracle before your eyes, you are adding healing vibrations to your surroundings. Write all positive experiences and feelings down. This is how you build a personality resume of goodness, kindness, inner peace and joy. This is where courage comes from.

How can you get perspective? In order to do this, you need a safe environment and emotional support. Remember, you are getting ready to view, head on, the object from which you have been recoiling for so many years. Self-trust needs to be built. We build self-trust by making and keeping increasingly larger promises to ourselves and others. Broken promises interfere with self-trust.

If you, deep in your heart, feel that the object is really not that big and you can handle it on your own or with a good friend, you already have enough perspective to tackle the illusion. That’s great! Go for it. However, for those more heavily cloaked objects – those which have years of ‘fear’ gluing your eyes shut over time, feeding the illusions that use shame and guilt to prevent you from getting at the truth, a well-educated mental health professional might be helpful to assist in your journey to build perspective. You may reach out to my office, (917) 716-6802, for an appropriate referral. For the heavy glue of fear that requires tears to be dissolved, if self-trust or courage are difficult to manage, help is still out there. You are not alone.

This is your life, your journey, and all steps taken and avoided are your choice. Here’s to continued blessings, healing, balance and wellness along your sacred adventure.

"Dr. Nancy Iankowitz is a board-certified family nurse practitioner and Director of Holistic and Integrative Healing LLC. She is also host of “Marcy’s World,” which streams live on the Marcy’s World Facebook page. Email your questions to: For more information, call (917) 716-6802, or visit online.”