Live Life by Your Own Design

In a world where there is so much to get disheartened by, when was the last time that you experienced a true break from reality and started to envision the power you have to design a life of your own creation. If you are like many people, perhaps you’ve never done a “sit down and get real with yourself” exercise, examining who, what, and where you’ve let your proverbial fences fall. Identifying and establishing healthy boundaries for and with yourself is key to creating the type of life you dream of.

We often neglect, albeit sometimes unconsciously, who and what we allow to enter our lives opening ourselves up to people, places, things that consume us with distractions that serve nothing more than to fill or waste time. The one thing we can never get or buy more of is our time, so let’s get down to designing the life you dreamed of.

Imagine what it would be like if you could find yourself surrounded by people, places and things that support you in achieving your greatness. For many, you may not even know what your greatness is. The following steps can help you start your journey toward discovery.

  1. THE DATE. Set a Date with yourself. Make it a regular occurrence. Go ahead and put it in your calendar and be sure to set that alert so you don’t forget it. Let this be your Golden Power Hour, take more than an hour, if you like.

  2. THE MINDFUL ACTIVITY. Pick one or two activities that during this date you will preform, i.e., reading personal development material, quietly taking a walk without your cell phone, and, of course, a journal to log your progress.

  3. THE JOURNAL. YES JOURNAL! There is brain chemistry that occurs when you take the surreal out of the dreamscape and manifest it or put it in the mindscape where you can actually see it realized. Imagine all the people in your life that you have had interactions with, whether by choice, chance or coincidence. Imagine that you cannot forget them for what they brought into your life, because, truth be told, once we have experienced something/someone it can’t be undone, but we can remodel our interior world so that we choose who and how it affects us today. Make two columns. NAME and INFLUENCE. You can put a fictional name if you feel like it. Be honest; there are some people you call a PIA (pain in the arse).

  4. THE VISION. Draw a picture, like a bull’s eye (inner circle, next circle, outer circle, rim, and blank space); now put the people in your life in the proximity where you feel they influence you. I don’t care if you are using stick figures or if you can draw portraits, or if you simply write their name, go ahead and plot in the characters of influence. Now do the same with the bull’s eye and arrange those people in order of YOUR preference. Maybe some of the more prickly ones need to be outside your inner circle, aka your immediate reality. So we can work on redefining boundaries and ways to communicate them effectively next.

Now that you have a visual of what and who are influencing you, it’s time to do some interior design work. If you need help, you can visit my website for a free Discover session at

Jacqueline Muller, LCSW-R is Clinical Director and Owner of Dynamic Intervention Wellness Solutions. She is a New York State Licensed Clinical Social Worker, with a Master’s Degree in Clinical Social Work and post graduate certifications as an EMDR practitioner and Reiki Master Teacher. She has over 20 years of experience in the field of behavioral health, working with adolescents through adulthood as individuals, families or groups.